those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
