I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
