Me. At least after what I've been through.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
