she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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