also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
