Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize