I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize