Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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