Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
