I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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