Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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