The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
we should paint friendship bongs
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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