yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
