So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
