Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So gin and wine won't be happening again
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
