Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
