maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
