who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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