put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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