Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
