It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
