I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
