hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
