i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we made out on top of his cat.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
