I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
