so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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