I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
