i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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