I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
