He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well I just put wine in my tea
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
