She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My nipple is on Facebook.
id be glad to
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
