I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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