Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize