dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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