My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
