So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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