what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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