Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
