One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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