i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
