So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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