What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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