so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
