What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
