So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
