Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
