You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize