Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
