you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
