Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
