Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
