I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
and she was petting her beer can
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Your penis caused this!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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