we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
