..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
