Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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