your parents love me but you hate me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
