just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
