I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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