Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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