No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize