I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
